Recently, a sick friend of mine called me for help. This friend had grown too sick to take herself to the doctor and asked if I could drive her. It was the least I could do, and, as she was a human friend, it would be a new experience for me. I’d never been to the doctor’s office.
Oh, I’ve been sick before. I mean, I’m a healthy vegetarian who tries to stay in shape, but I’m not indestructible. And you probably haven’t thought about it, but my medical care has to come at the hands of a vet.
After all, when was the last time you had to take de-wormer or woke up thinking, “I’m not feeling too well, I bet I have parvo.”
I’ve heard a lot about the state of modern medicine. And I often wondered what it would be like to get treatment on the other side of the species divide. Well, I have to tell you guys, this single visit to the doctor’s office was absolutely eye opening!
Let’s compare and contrast, shall we?
We sat at the doctor’s office for over an hour before the nurse called my friend’s name. Then we sat in the exam room for another thirty minutes. I asked her how long it takes when she has an appointment. Her response? “I made this appointment.”
At my vet, I’ve waited at max twenty minutes between lobby and exam room. And that was just the one time when somebody’s dog had been hit by a car.
At the doctor’s office, the reading material consisted almost exclusively of incredibly dated issues of entertainment magazines with similarly dated gossip and news or pamphlets aimed mainly at octogenarians. At my vet, there are dog lover and cat fancier magazines. The doctor’s office did have Highlights, so I’m throwing them a bone.
When my friend finally saw the doctor and had a diagnosis, he then wrote her a prescription. Which we had to fill on the way home at a whole other place called a “pharmacy.” I have never heard of such a thing.
At my vet, they give me what I’m prescribed right there. I’ve heard that some tougher to come by medicines have to be ordered or picked up elsewhere, but that’s never happened to me.
I know my friend only had her five dollar copay but I got a look at her itemized bill and I thought I’d need to see my vet due to heart attack. If my vet bills are the gross national product of, say, Cuba, then her doctor bill is the GNP of the USA.
Now you human readers want to use insurance to give the advantage to the doctor’s office. But Angus and I are way ahead of you. Each of us have pet insurance on the other guy. We figured it would throw fewer red flags that way. I mean, wouldn’t you look sideways at a guy named Bob MacWordell who had a pet sheep named Bob?
Regardless of copays, I’m giving this one to the vet. I don’t want to go in there without insurance, but if I had to, I could pay it off with a loan from Angus instead of one from a real bank.
And there you have it in plain black and white. Vets are so clearly superior that I wouldn’t wish a visit to the doctor’s office on a dog.